Judgemental ka matlab hai
I fail to understand why people
have this perception that someone who is systematic and organized in their
day-to-day lives, have less fun than others. There is a misnomer that only
those who bunk classes in college have all the fun in the world. That only
backbenchers are cool and those who pay attention to the teacher and are
disciplined are bookworms. Children who ask questions in class are called
“teacher ka chamcha/teacher’s pet”. Come on, whoever gave you that thought? I
largely blame media (a large part contributed by the interpretation of life by
Bollywood).
The other day I was proudly
talking about my 11 year old, A, who is so independent and organized that we
(my husband and I) hardly have to be pushy with him to wake up early, attend
his online classes, study for his exams etc etc. Our dads (my father in law and
father) have brought us up with discipline and we do the same with our kids.
Doesn’t mean we are walking around the house with a whip. A friend of mine who was listening to my
conversation asked me privately, “Is, A, like the calendar guy in Dil Chahta
Hai?” (the character name’s Subodh). I just smiled and said “No”. At first I was wondering what the connection was but later I felt absurd. Because that is what Bollywood depicts. That people
who remember dates, who like to follow routines and be systematic in life are
to be joked about.
The pandemic made me earnestly think
about my hobbies. I picked up drawing, painting and craft. Not just hobbies,
but I slowly started to tinker with some alternate interests too. I started to
learn Sanskrit, read religious texts etc. I am now exploring ways to learn
Veda. I love traveling and photography, which makes me active on insta. Let me
also re-iterate that I work full time in an MNC. But I am often asked “full
vela at work?”(looks like work is pretty easy) or “work seems to be chilled
out, less stressful”.
So coming back to the same
premise. Yes I prioritize work-life-balance, if that is what it is called. And
how do I do it? I am organized. I take help for chores that I don’t have to do
personally (house helpers). I have a supportive family. My children are
independent (requiring minimum monitoring) and they too have fun. I have a
“flexible” work environment. My bosses at work are sensible. But this does not
mean my work is totally stress-free. No job in the world is. There are
stressful days and there are relaxing days. If one’s job is 365 days stressful,
then it is time to set a job alert on Linkedin!!
So where are we going with these
preconceived notions? Isn’t this another (I wouldn’t call it subtle) form of
bullying? Even successful
school drop outs would not have achieved what they have, if not by striving hard
in the fields that they chose and by being disciplined. So I say it again and
loudly. It is totally cool to have a routine, to wake up
early, doing things without being asked to, managing your own responsibilities,
finding time to explore interests and hobbies, staying active on social media, having
an empty OTT watchlist ‘cos you’ve watched them all, scoring good marks in
class, being punctual, and many more to add.
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